A member of our community asked:

“Can we see you list of qualities / requirements for a girlfriend? I feel like because I don't have this list I don't have a minimum standard. Your post yesterday about 5/6s not being a part of your life is something I want to change about myself, although I find with a lot of alcohol anything goes. Not sure how much I care about this but it's maybe damaging long term especially in a small city when chicks find out your banging less hot girls.”

Moderator Answer:

Appearance:

• Silky skin (preferably dark)

• Height doesn't matter

• Shiny hair

• Beautiful thin fingers

• Natural Deep gaze (big eyes are a huge plus)

• Small nose

• Beautiful slender ankles

• Maintained proportions

• No tattoos (explicit)

• Natural elegance

Interior:

• Kindness

• Empathy

• Determination

• Independent with a strong core

• Moderate healthy ambition and desire to achieve success in one’s endeavors (at the same time, not the extreme of “walking over one’s head”)

• Ability to find and make compromises

• Moderation and down to earth

• Having brakes and understanding when to stop

• Sincerity

• Honesty

• Sense of humor (especially dark humor)

• Tolerance for my “rudeness and tactlessness”

• Friendly and sociable

• Love to the animals

• Justice

• Tenderness

• Curiosity

• Quick-wittedness

• Optimism and constant good spirits (love of life)

• The ability to apologize for your mistakes

• Active life position and high level of energy and initiative

• Systematicity but also spontaneity

• Logic and prudence

• Ability to sincerely display and experience childlike emotions / happiness

• High attention to detail

Skills:

• Constant thirst for new knowledge and experiences

• Erudition, broad outlook, high IQ level

• A good education

• English language

• Having an interesting circle of friends/acquaintances

• No IQOS and cigarettes

• Aesthetics

Hobby:

• Versatility (I want to try everything)

• Movies

• Love of travel

• Tennis, golf, skiing, sailing or another high brow sport

• Wine

• Photography, video shooting and insta

• Interior design and architecture

• Passion and passion for own business

• Interest in politics, economics, technological development

Red Flags For Trashy/Village Look To Avoid:

• Eyelash Extensions

• Hair extensions

• Curly hair

• Arrows (eyes) – make up

• Eyebrow tattoo

• Constant presence of AirPods in the ears

• Fake branded clothing with flashy slogans

• Rudeness to the service staff and to the people around

• Lip sync to songs and self-admiration on Instagram

• Not speaking proper native language

• Long flashy / scratchy fake nails(fucking manicure)

• Swearing excessively

• Cigarettes and IQOS

• Chronic need to put a hookah in your mouth

• Burnt hair/amber/highlighted

• Tattoos

• Provocative bright clothes

• Pumped lips

• Makeup foundation on the beach

• Heels on the beach

• Not knowing multiplication table

• Leopard print

• Smoky hoarse voice

• When heavy dishes are ordered for breakfast (Pasta, meat, etc.)

• Loud mock screaming, scratching during sex

• Round or oversized implants

You guys are welcome to use this list as a template, adjust it to your needs and then discuss it with girls on dates... and give them a matching score.... from my experience makes a great subject to talk about, and def creates value for you as person not just a penis who has mastered English and found a BDSM test lol. I need the person to be on the same page as me, thats the idea at least (I'm perfectionist / idealist). If someone doesnt have same attributes, we will just piss each other off after initial "romance" period (for me thats few dates at the most).

It will never be a 100% match obviously...

And even if you find, then you have to also fit her "list" which can be tricky. But in the end thats the goal, without a goal you just become complacent. Just like with any other aspect of life (career, business, material attributes, retirement, location).

I do put myself in the places of abundance where I can set up my own criteria and search for whats important for me. I am not saying you should have my list, but everyone should have "theirs".

In terms of solo vs. couple... the society puts a lot of pressure on you, over a certain age, especially in US / Western Europe to be in some sort of relationships. People without one are labeled as losers etc. In my opinion relationshis are to exist if they change your life for the better, and if you are more happier with your partner then without him / her. But of course it also takes a lot of will power and strenght to pursue your ultimate dream. Most people appease, give up, give in to pressure etc. Fortunately I've developed resistance and self sufficiency in every aspect of life, most people will never achieve that. As your properly noted, they live by "intertia."

Also a lot of people as they get older (30+) develop a need for companionship. Someone to talk to, desire to feel loved and needed, etc. Usually its stupid fucking blab of old people about non important non sense that carries no informational value and just creates illusion of "normalicy". (Food, weather, well being, dogs, cats, neighboors) So thats why they get partners, lovers etc... who may have the same needs, or who needs something from them (usually higher standard of living, money, travel, shopping)

Thus for me the "solo" path is the preferred way of existing in general, with everything else being a bonus. But this quality is indeed rare and requires lots of work to build the confidence and ressilience to external pressure.

And also along wiht my list of course when someone does fit my long term goals, doesnt mean I cant have good time with them, drinking wine, share some laughs, go out to dinner, do some light dating, some occasional banging... as long as you are in the place of abundance and thats what you want, then you can combine the two. But in terms of more sustainable relationship, what you were touching upon its a little different scenario.